Searching for a Perfect Compromise

My Rangefinder and I

Photography is an amazing artform.  It can envoke feelings of sadness, happiness, and inspiration to name a few; the list is simply endless.  Photography can be so much more though, like cancer, it is an excellent teacher of life skills as well.  Photography has easily taught me as many lessons about life as my leukemia.  But probably the best lesson it has ever taught me is;
      
              Nothing in our world is perfect, life is about compromises.

It is no secret that I like to change my cameras often; I am on my 9th different camera.  Don't get me wrong, I do like the aspects of playing with a new toy but that is not the central reason for my constant switching of camera systems.  The true reason is I am in the neverending search for "The Perfect Camera" for me. 

Notice how I said perfect camera for me.  The problem is no camera company is calling me in to make me the perfect camera, instead they make them for the masses.  With this sad reality of no custom cameras how do we find the perfect camera?  Unfortunately we don't. 

Don't let that dissaude you from looking though, there are great compromises.  But in order to find your perfect compromise you first have to know what it is you are looking for.  This step is so often skipped by so many people.  They don't take the time to sit down and actually list out what is the most important aspects that they value.  For me two of the most important factors are size and weight. 

I had almost found the perfect camera in a rangefinder but it lacked great low light performance and was manual focus only.  Now there is an option for low light performance but it is over $7000 for just the camera, which is drastically outside my price range :)  I loved manual operation of this camera, oftentimes turning off all automatic features and using it completely manual.  It was a wonderful camera but just not great for an all around camera so I moved on.  Although one day I shall get another (maybe film, maybe digitial who knows :) )

I have since continued on my journey for my "perfect compromise".  This is not the only place where the perfect compromise rears itself in photography.  It is present almost everytime you press the shutter to take a photograph.  I won't get into the science of exposure (or else this post will grow exponentially in length) but exposing a photograph is more often than not a compromise in attempt to create your personal vision for a photograph.

Again in order to make the decision on the acceptable compromise you first must know what is of utmost importance to you and what you can compromise on. 

This is a concept that is applicable to our everyday lives.  Our lives are filled with compromises that we have to make.  Instead of just making random compromises we should use the lessons from photography and take a moment to take a step back and assess our situation.  What are the things that are absolute must haves, and what are things you can compromise on.  Once you know these two things you can more effectively tackle the compromises in your life.

Stay tuned for more on the Journey for my Perfect Compromise

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Surviving Leukemia - It's Not About the Numbers

Less than 100 is all you need to know

A diagnosis of Acute Leukemia (or any Cancer for that matter) is a very scary and confusing time.  You are bombarded by so many different things that you have no prior knowledge of and as such start seeking out sources to try and help you gain a better understanding.  In the first couple hours and days (and truthfully including even years later), the mountain of questions of the unknown is continually growing.  The ultimate question and summit of your mountain of questions is always the same for anyone going through this terrible process:

     

              What are my chances for survival?

Unfortunately this one question can do so much more harm than good for someone going through something as terrible as Acute Leukemia.  It is expected than when you are told you are going to die without medical intervention you are going to be curious about the odds for your survival.  Naturally the first place we go for this information is the internet. 

I am here to tell you this is a mistake, the internet is a wonder source of information, but in cases like this it can be overwhelming and destructive to the most important tool you have in your fight against your Leukemia; your positive attitude.  It is so destructive because lets face it the stats on survival for Acute Leukemia are just terrible.  It is one of the most aggressive and terrible forms of cancer there is.  In addition, the protocol for treating it is extremely long and just as dangerous as the disease itself.

Now I am not saying don't research your disease at all.  I am the biggest supporter of becoming educated on your disease.  When I got sick I half joked that by the end of this process that I would know as much as my doctor's about my disease.  Now this was half in jest but also half reality.  I think it is so important to be educated, if anything else it allows us to prepare mentally for the extremely long and difficult battle that we have coming up. 

But there is a big difference to researching your disease and focusing on the numbers for survival.  To give a frame of reference, I myself made this mistake one night just before my stem cell transplant.  Amy and I were on the couch watching tv and she had passed out so I decided to do some research on my "chances" on the internet.  It was alarming how bad the actual numbers were; shocking in fact.  The worst part was although I could feel it stressing me out internally and destroying my positive energy I just couldn't stop looking.  It was almost addiciting in a sadistic sort of way.  Thankfully I came across a forum of survivors.  As soon as I saw that others survived this regardless of the odds it broke the spell the negative odds had on me and I closed my laptop and have never looked at odds since.

You see the only important thing we need to know when fighting a life threatening disease is if others have survived so too can you.  This is the most important thing we need to latch onto regardless of how bad the actual number is.  If it isn't 100% then others have survived, and so too can you.

The source of numbers like this are studies, and they are just that studies.  There is no, and never will be a, study that is able to give you a true representation of what your personal chances of surviving something is because so many other factors involved that just what type of cancer you have.  Take me for instance, I have no met anyone in two years that has the same cancer, Phildelphia positive bcell acute lymphoblastic leukemia, that is in the same age group as me.  So for me to get hung up on survival statistics done on people that weren't even close to my age seemed silly.  Sure they tell you that when your cancer is more rare you are higher risk, but I think part of that is just because they haven't seen enough cases to say much else.  Remember it is all about statistics, if only two people have a terrible condition and one dies, the survival rate would be 50%.

So whenever you are faced with something that feels like it has impossible odds, take the glass half full approach;  if others can defeat and overcome it, so too can you.  Your personal attitude is more powerful than anything a doctor can prescribe so always remember to fuel and reinforce that attitude with the right type of positive thinking.

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My Favourite 8 "Street" Photographs from 2011

I really don't like using the term "street" photography anymore.  I haven't in a long time.  I find it has such a negative connotation these days, often seen as being creepy, aggressive, or invasive.  I strive now to make more than just a photo of a person walking down a street.  I will continue to use the term street photography for the purposes of this blog but know I am not a street photographer just a regular photographer who likes to photograph what I see; it just so happens to be most times on the streets :)

I have spoken before we can move on to our goals of the new year we have to reflect on the past year.  As an artist I think reviewing your images from the past is especially important.  I decided to review all my street shots from last year and pull out my favourites.  Without further adieu here are my 9 favourite shots from 2011.  I hope you like them.

Two of a Kind

A moment of Enlightenment

Isolation

Three's Company

A long walk

Back to Back

Practicing

Afraid of the Dark

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